We deal with our insecurities in different ways. As individuals, both Karen and I were insecure early in our marriage. The more insecure I felt, the more macho I acted. If you made me feel insecure, I’d puff out my chest and challenge you.
But when Karen felt insecure, she’d almost try to disappear. She cowered and became shy when someone intimidated her.
The reality is all of us feel insecure from time to time. The important thing is not whether insecurity exists, but how we deal with it. Some people turn to money to comfort their insecurities. Some people focus on appearance, or alcohol and drugs, or unhealthy relationships.
Wherever you turn in times of insecurity and problems, that is your place of security. The only true place of security is in a personal relationship with God.
That’s why the world is always insecure: they don’t know where to find security. When the Bible says “do not be conformed to this world” in Romans 12:2, it’s saying not to solve your problems—and deal with your insecurities—the same way the world does.
There are three important steps to overcoming your insecurities.
First, turn to God. David describes God as a refuge and fortress. Paul describes turning to God when he experienced a “thorn in the flesh” (2 Cor. 12:7). When we encounter insecurity, we should turn to our Father before anything else. When the world feels insecure, it runs to something. We run to Someone.
Second, embrace your weakness. That doesn’t mean stop trying to improve or grow stronger. We don’t have to accept everything that comes into our lives. But the fact that we can’t easily change things about ourselves is proof that we need God. We are sheep who depend on a Shepherd to take care of us.
When we give our weakness to God, it becomes strength. Why? Because, together, God and I are a perfect team. I’m not that smart, but He knows everything. I don’t know where I’m going, but He has an eternal perspective.
We must say, “I need you, Lord.” This confession leads to strength. It leads to security. We can’t find God until we admit our need for Him.
Third, put faith in God’s grace. This means we have to let go of worrying about whether we deserve His love or acceptance. We don’t have to “deserve” anything. Paul said it himself in 2 Cor. 12:9—His grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in my weakness.
Generally, the times when we need God the most are the times when we deserve Him the least. We need Him because we’re a mess.
I have grandchildren, and I love them, but sometimes they are a mess. They might have a dirty diaper, or a bad attitude because they didn’t get a nap. They might have food all over their faces or in their hair.
But I still let them climb up into my lap. They are always welcome in my arms, no matter how bad they smell.
God loves us far more than even I love my grandchildren. He says, “Come, jump up in Daddy’s lap.” We can’t get our act together until we’re in His presence. That’s when His grace will get us all fixed up.
Learn how to become God’s partner and experience healing in your life. Watch “How to Change Insecurity” with Jimmy and Karen Evans.