People have become fearful of marriage. I hear a question from individuals all the time: Does marriage still work anymore?
The answer is YES. Absolutely it does. You have a one hundred percent chance of success in marriage because God created marriage, and He never makes anything to fail. He made us for marriage.
The reasons relationships fail is because we don’t follow God’s rules for marriage. God revealed these laws in Genesis 2:24-25.
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. They were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”
Laws create order, and if you follow them, your marriage can remain safe. Here are the four laws of marriage:
First, the Law of Priority.
This is expressed in the phrase “a man shall leave his father and mother.” In terms of priority, the marriage has to be placed before all other relationships. Don’t give priority to your parents, children, work, or hobbies.
When Karen and I first married, I golfed all the time and it almost destroyed our relationship. Your marriage has to come first.
Second, the Law of Pursuit.
This comes from the phrase “…and cleave unto his wife.” The word cleave sounds foreign in English, but in the original language it means to pursue with all your energy. Deuteronomy commands us to cleave unto the Lord.
Are you actively pursuing your spouse? Marriage is work. It requires energy. Many couples apply no energy to their relationship but expect their marriage to thrive. That won’t happen unless they pursue each other.
Third, the Law of Possession.
Marriage is about sharing everything, as revealed in “the two shall become one flesh.” When you get married, you share everything with your spouse, from your bank account and furniture to important things like decision-making.
A dominant marriage, in which one spouse makes all the decisions and controls everything, always brings trouble. Selfish people cannot succeed in marriage because selfish people refuse to share. They won’t cooperate. Ignoring the Law of Possession can wreck your relationship.
Fourth, the Law of Purity.
“They were both naked…and were unashamed.” Adam and Eve were completely exposed to each other physically. They were also exposed mentally and emotionally until sin took that intimacy away. It forced them into hiding from each other.
A healthy marriage requires intimacy without fear. If we are careful in how we behave and take responsibility for our issues, this kind of relationship is possible. But if we hurt each other and don’t take responsibility, we become sensitive. We refuse to open our hearts to each other.
Does marriage even work anymore? Yes, it does. But only when we put Jesus first and when we obey the laws of God. That makes it the most secure relationship on earth—but we have to do it God’s way.
Learn more about dating and marriage in the MarriageToday program:
How to Date and Successfully Marry